"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." ~Alan Cohen
Last week was a really tough week. I have some serious stressors happening in my life that have been driving me CRAZY. They have been driving my crazy because I have let them drive me crazy in my head. What this means is that I OVERTHINK what is happening.
How many readers out there are or know overthinkers? You know this type: Smart, yet has to analyze every angle of every situation, problem or decision before acting upon it? Well, that is me-or WAS me.
I have been analytical most of my life. I think very mechanically naturally, so I like to look at things, break them apart and put them back together. And, in part as a defense mechanism, when something unexpected or stressful happens, I have to analyze every angle to understand the WHY of it.
Now, this is not necessarily a bad trait-in fact, I have always liked the fact that I can look at a problem, see both sides of the story, and make a informed decision from it. The problem manifested itself because I was overthinking EVERYTHING that came into my life. And this overthinking was preventing me from truly moving forward with my dreams and aspirations. It would lock up my decision-making process and prevent my decisions to just move forward naturally. For example, a decision about what to fix for breakfast for my two kids and myself would play in my head like this:
"Okay, eggs and toast sound great! But I only have six eggs left and that would be two eggs apiece and then I have to go to the grocery store because I won't have any eggs for tomorrow! Crap! When am I going to get to the grocery store!? I have so much to do today! And I didn't want to go until the end of the week! So if I plan to go to the grocery store maybe between work appointments today and run the eggs home and then leave again, then we will have eggs for tomorrow's breakfast. Will I have time to do that or will that make me late for my next appointment? I can't be late! Blah blah blah blah blah blah...and so on.... and so on.....
This type of overthinking will drive you to the funny farm wanting drugs, a strait jacket and a rubber room playing classical music.
This is where my self-revelation comes in. A friend of mine is a life-coach and he and I were talking about life and business. And I was prattling on about my financial situation and why it is the way it is and he stopped me and said, "Merri Lou, do you forgive people in your life?"
I stopped yapping, looked at him funny, thought about it seriously and answered, "Yes, yes I do." And then he said, "Do you ever forgive yourself?"
That statement hit me like a ton of bricks. I started crying. "No, I don't." So he said, "Start now. If you forgive yourself for the things you have done wrong, you don't have to overthink everything so hard about the stuff that you messed up or can't control the outcome. Just let life unfold the way it it meant to. SURRENDER to your inner voice, your inner being, the way your heart feels."
I cried on the way home that evening. And I verbally out loud in my car forgave myself for my mistakes I have made in the past. It was a true revelation for my head and nice to be reminded that not everything is meant to be analyzed and not to be so hard on myself for being human.
So my Mental Health Monday tip for today is this:
Your head doesn't have to do all of the work. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made, know that you can't control all outcomes and focus on all of the positives you have in your life and the positive situations. Be conscious of your thoughts and the manifestations that come from them. Have the courage to surrender to your inner being as part of your decision process. The freedom of the stress you feel will be unbelieveable.
In the last week, my stress levels have dropped significantly and my work has increased. New projects has been dreamed and are being implemented without overthinking that it could be too much to take on. It's not. My inner being tells me loudly that I am on the right track with my life. And I am listening.
Oh, and by the way, I was also told to think like my bank account has millions of dollars in it-I just choose the way I spend it. It can help manifest thoughts about bringing more money into your life. So I just want to share with you that I have $200 million dollars in my account right now. I'm DEFinitely not overthinking that! :-)
Make it an amazing Monday!
~Merri Lou
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Workout Wednesday! Are You Motivated? No? Then Read On....
Today is your day to workout. You know you need to. You haven't done anything in a week and your treadmill is now officially a clothes hanger. You don't have the urge whatsoever to throw on workout clothes and hit the gym, your bicycle for a ride, or your favorite walking/running path. You feel like sitting a bit longer at the computer checking Facebook, or emails, or procrastinating by watching the next TV show when you told yourself that you would leave after the the one you were watching ended.
Does this sound familiar?
Do these pics LOOK familiar?
Where did your motivation go? What is stopping you from starting to exercise?
Procrastination
For every action there is a cause-a "trigger".
The four biggest triggers are excuses, habits, fears, and negative thoughts. These are the four big motivation stoppers. Think about WHY you procrastinate. Do you make excuses? Is there some bad, unhealthy habits that you need to stop and change to good ones? Do you rationalize everything? Are you fearful or intimidated by exercising? And do the words, 'can't', 'shouldn't', 'not', and other negatives overtake your good thoughts and intentions?
These triggers instantly produce behaviors and decisions that progress to daily and lifelong outcomes-these triggers are subconsciously accepted without being truly identified as a procrastination tool.
Dealing with these negative triggers can change your habits and thoughts, leading a healthier lifestyle. By creating motivation, you are able to set realistic goals and objectives.
Some types of motivation include:
Intrinsic Motivation-Having a true sense of obligation, personal benefit and enjoyment, and significance to what you want to achieve.
Extrinsic Motivation-Externally generated from people, objects, and your environment. You are extrinsically motivated when your task or activity benefits others, results in money and/or material possessions.
Reward-Created Motivation-Building high levels of motivation from earning rewards. The rewards need to be consistently reinforced and in close proximity to the actions you are rewarding to be successful and motivating.
Human Need Motivation- Our needs that include things such as connection with others, certainty, power, growth, significance and freedom.
Goal-Setting Motivation-This is critical in our lives to keep up moving forward towards better things.
To do this you can use the S.M.A.R.T. Principle:
S.pecific, A.djustable/A.ction-oriented, R.ealistic, and T.ime-based.
By using these principles, each time you set a goal, you are bound to achieve it!
Now back to your exercising.....are you feeling motivated yet? :-) Use these tips, change your ways, and like the old Nike slogan says, "Just Do It"!
Enjoy your Wednesday!
~Merri Lou
Does this sound familiar?
Do these pics LOOK familiar?
*Do you watch your dog instead of taking them outside to run?*
*Do you use your treadmill for eating or sleeping?*
Where did your motivation go? What is stopping you from starting to exercise?
Procrastination
For every action there is a cause-a "trigger".
The four biggest triggers are excuses, habits, fears, and negative thoughts. These are the four big motivation stoppers. Think about WHY you procrastinate. Do you make excuses? Is there some bad, unhealthy habits that you need to stop and change to good ones? Do you rationalize everything? Are you fearful or intimidated by exercising? And do the words, 'can't', 'shouldn't', 'not', and other negatives overtake your good thoughts and intentions?
These triggers instantly produce behaviors and decisions that progress to daily and lifelong outcomes-these triggers are subconsciously accepted without being truly identified as a procrastination tool.
Dealing with these negative triggers can change your habits and thoughts, leading a healthier lifestyle. By creating motivation, you are able to set realistic goals and objectives.
Some types of motivation include:
Intrinsic Motivation-Having a true sense of obligation, personal benefit and enjoyment, and significance to what you want to achieve.
Extrinsic Motivation-Externally generated from people, objects, and your environment. You are extrinsically motivated when your task or activity benefits others, results in money and/or material possessions.
Reward-Created Motivation-Building high levels of motivation from earning rewards. The rewards need to be consistently reinforced and in close proximity to the actions you are rewarding to be successful and motivating.
Human Need Motivation- Our needs that include things such as connection with others, certainty, power, growth, significance and freedom.
Goal-Setting Motivation-This is critical in our lives to keep up moving forward towards better things.
To do this you can use the S.M.A.R.T. Principle:
S.pecific, A.djustable/A.ction-oriented, R.ealistic, and T.ime-based.
By using these principles, each time you set a goal, you are bound to achieve it!
Now back to your exercising.....are you feeling motivated yet? :-) Use these tips, change your ways, and like the old Nike slogan says, "Just Do It"!
Enjoy your Wednesday!
~Merri Lou
Monday, August 23, 2010
Happy Monday! Or Are You Really Happy...?
It's Monday Morning, and I'm sipping on my coffee, contemplating this blog topic and contemplating my life happiness. Lately, on my own personal journey, I have been trying to get back to my 'happy place'. I hope each and everyone of you has a happy place. You know, that place inside and outside of you where your life properties are in alignment with the universe? Yes, THAT place! You are happy and harmonious in your family life, career, education, and your spiritual being. The place where you find balance in all that you do.
It can be devastating when there is an upset in your wheelbarrow of life ( a death in the family, a financial crisis, divorce, trauma) and your balance gets thrown more to one side of your wheelbarrow than the other. My visualization is this: If anyone of you has ever done yard work and has handled a wheelbarrow, you know that it is precarious on its single front wheel if the load of weeds, dirt and grass clippings is not balanced. I've tipped over that wheelbarrow before and dumped its contents. I get a bit mad when this happens and curse under my breath (Okay. I curse out loud-my neighbors love me!), but I put everything as best as I can back into the wheelbarrow, taking better care that the load is not too full or imbalanced. And then, when I am able to wheel it and dump it into my lawn bags, life is good again.
Eudamonic
Aristotle had it right back in the day. He wrote about happiness and what is called being Eudamonic ("Eu" = "good", "daimon" = "spirit" or "diety"). Eudamonic means to strive towards excellence and one's personal happiness based on their potential and unique talents. Aristotle considered this to be the noblest goal in a person's life.
Ancient Greek culture believed that each child at birth was blessed with a personal, special daimon (their inner spirit) embracing their loftiest, possible expression of his or her personality. This daimon was visualized as a golden figurine that would be revealed by the chipping away of an outer layer of pottery (representing the child's outer being). Once the pottery was chipped away, the child, while growing up, would find their most "golden self"-or eudamonic well-being, in current lingo. So even now, this ancient concept has turned into present-day exploration for our personal growth and happiness. And we keep growing through our challenges of new opportunities and the journey of fulfilling one's meaning of purpose in life.
So on this Monday, I am striving to find my eudamonic well-being. It will be a busy one today, but I know that eudamonia is already kicking in-my fresh-ground coffee this morning rocked my world! It's the little moments that count to make the bigger ones successful. :-)
Find your golden-self today!
~Merri Lou
It can be devastating when there is an upset in your wheelbarrow of life ( a death in the family, a financial crisis, divorce, trauma) and your balance gets thrown more to one side of your wheelbarrow than the other. My visualization is this: If anyone of you has ever done yard work and has handled a wheelbarrow, you know that it is precarious on its single front wheel if the load of weeds, dirt and grass clippings is not balanced. I've tipped over that wheelbarrow before and dumped its contents. I get a bit mad when this happens and curse under my breath (Okay. I curse out loud-my neighbors love me!), but I put everything as best as I can back into the wheelbarrow, taking better care that the load is not too full or imbalanced. And then, when I am able to wheel it and dump it into my lawn bags, life is good again.
Eudamonic
Aristotle had it right back in the day. He wrote about happiness and what is called being Eudamonic ("Eu" = "good", "daimon" = "spirit" or "diety"). Eudamonic means to strive towards excellence and one's personal happiness based on their potential and unique talents. Aristotle considered this to be the noblest goal in a person's life.
Ancient Greek culture believed that each child at birth was blessed with a personal, special daimon (their inner spirit) embracing their loftiest, possible expression of his or her personality. This daimon was visualized as a golden figurine that would be revealed by the chipping away of an outer layer of pottery (representing the child's outer being). Once the pottery was chipped away, the child, while growing up, would find their most "golden self"-or eudamonic well-being, in current lingo. So even now, this ancient concept has turned into present-day exploration for our personal growth and happiness. And we keep growing through our challenges of new opportunities and the journey of fulfilling one's meaning of purpose in life.
So on this Monday, I am striving to find my eudamonic well-being. It will be a busy one today, but I know that eudamonia is already kicking in-my fresh-ground coffee this morning rocked my world! It's the little moments that count to make the bigger ones successful. :-)
Find your golden-self today!
~Merri Lou
Friday, August 20, 2010
Two Months Later..Restart! Mental Health and Your Finances
Two months ago, I told myself that I'm going to start blogging-heck, I write in a journal almost every day, I could type a few things that could help people! Then life happens and well, blogging just was left behind.
Restart! So here is my blog, Health Infusion. Not sure that the topic for today is actually infused with health, but maybe there are a few golden nuggets you can glean from it, or a few golden nuggets that someone out in Bloggerland can share.
Preface
My finances are in a low point right now. I am a bit ashamed and humbled to admit this. I have worked hard my entire life, raised two kids practically by myself for the last 10 years and have done alright-until last year when I was laid off and the person I was dating (and fell madly in love with) dumped me for someone else-all in the same week. I was a mess. A big, broken-hearted, depressed, I-don't-have-income-coming-in mess. This situation not only messes with your finances and your heart, it messes mainly with your HEAD. It took 3 months to get out of that depressed state, and function semi-normally again to get my sh*! together and find work.
And it hit me: In this economy where unemployment is around 10%, I have two choices: I could either look for a job, or start my own business-so I did. I have a company called Transformational Wellness Consulting here in Spokane, WA. I put together wellness programs for companies to help employees become more productive, lessen absenteeism, etc, through education. Helps lower their insurance premiums and L&I Claims. LOVE what I do.
So to finish this story up and get on to the good stuff, Fast-forward to exactly a year later from where I started. How are my finances? Not that great. How is my mental health? MUUUCH better than last year at this time, but finances in turmoil, like your heart can really mess with your head. The stress I feel by not being able to meet all of my financial obligations gets to me after a while.
GOOD STUFF
This is where the golden nuggets start falling.
Posing this question to my audience: How do YOU dealing with your mental health when finances are stressing you out?
A few tools I use:
*Deep Breathing. When we are stressed, our auto-response is to breathe shallowly through our chest, instead of taking normal to deep breaths through our diaphragm. Stress puts us in a "Fight or Flight" response, no matter how intense the stressor is. We can counteract that by sitting quietly for a few moments and concentrating on our breathing. Here is a great exercise: As you sit quietly, put one hand on your diaphragm (located under the bottom portion of your rib cage)and one hand on your chest. Close your eyes, breathe in deeply, exhaling slowly. Is your chest rising up more than your diaphragm on your inhale? Change that. Take in five deep breaths and focus on keeping your chest quiet while working on diaphragmatic breathing. This is the type of breathing that happens while you sleep. You can try inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth (But we are in allergy season-breathe anyway you can get oxygen in if your sinuses are plugged!). There, now that you've tried this, do you feel a little more calm and relaxed? Aaaahhhh......
*Meditation/Prayer It doesn't really matter what your religious beliefs are, meditation and prayer produce the same result: Inner focus. Meditation and Prayer are enhanced by using deep breathing techniques and quieting the mind to focus on what is truly important to you. Find a quiet spot, close your eyes and focus on your Higher Being, being grateful for what you have, the people whom you love and who love you-whomever or whatever you feel is worth your precious time to focus on. MAKE this time for you-your mental health will thank you later for it.
*Positive Talk and An Optimistic Attitude Take all the negatives out of your thinking. Positive thinking is the real deal and it DOES work. When you tell yourself what you want/need either in your head or out loud (Caution! Speaking your thoughts out loud might cause strange looks in your direction!), keep it in present tense and it will change the way you think. An example would be "I am making loads of money today", instead of "I will be making loads of money today" (future tense) or "I'm not making any money!" (negative tense! No more thinking like this!)
*ExerciseSaved my favorite for last. Exercise can clear your head and increase your endorphin levels (brain and nerve transmitters that help prevent pain, increases your sense of power, lets you extend your activity level and can increase your feelings of well-being). Exercise just makes you feel good, helps in weight loss, and just leaves you feeling empowered, where you feel like you are in a good space to make good decisions-especially financial ones.
These are a few of my tools. I would love to hear from all of you out there. And, if there are any health or wellness topics you would like me to blog on, I would be more that happy to.
Happy Friday!
Yours In Health,
~Merri Lou
Restart! So here is my blog, Health Infusion. Not sure that the topic for today is actually infused with health, but maybe there are a few golden nuggets you can glean from it, or a few golden nuggets that someone out in Bloggerland can share.
Preface
My finances are in a low point right now. I am a bit ashamed and humbled to admit this. I have worked hard my entire life, raised two kids practically by myself for the last 10 years and have done alright-until last year when I was laid off and the person I was dating (and fell madly in love with) dumped me for someone else-all in the same week. I was a mess. A big, broken-hearted, depressed, I-don't-have-income-coming-in mess. This situation not only messes with your finances and your heart, it messes mainly with your HEAD. It took 3 months to get out of that depressed state, and function semi-normally again to get my sh*! together and find work.
And it hit me: In this economy where unemployment is around 10%, I have two choices: I could either look for a job, or start my own business-so I did. I have a company called Transformational Wellness Consulting here in Spokane, WA. I put together wellness programs for companies to help employees become more productive, lessen absenteeism, etc, through education. Helps lower their insurance premiums and L&I Claims. LOVE what I do.
So to finish this story up and get on to the good stuff, Fast-forward to exactly a year later from where I started. How are my finances? Not that great. How is my mental health? MUUUCH better than last year at this time, but finances in turmoil, like your heart can really mess with your head. The stress I feel by not being able to meet all of my financial obligations gets to me after a while.
GOOD STUFF
This is where the golden nuggets start falling.
Posing this question to my audience: How do YOU dealing with your mental health when finances are stressing you out?
A few tools I use:
*Deep Breathing. When we are stressed, our auto-response is to breathe shallowly through our chest, instead of taking normal to deep breaths through our diaphragm. Stress puts us in a "Fight or Flight" response, no matter how intense the stressor is. We can counteract that by sitting quietly for a few moments and concentrating on our breathing. Here is a great exercise: As you sit quietly, put one hand on your diaphragm (located under the bottom portion of your rib cage)and one hand on your chest. Close your eyes, breathe in deeply, exhaling slowly. Is your chest rising up more than your diaphragm on your inhale? Change that. Take in five deep breaths and focus on keeping your chest quiet while working on diaphragmatic breathing. This is the type of breathing that happens while you sleep. You can try inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth (But we are in allergy season-breathe anyway you can get oxygen in if your sinuses are plugged!). There, now that you've tried this, do you feel a little more calm and relaxed? Aaaahhhh......
*Meditation/Prayer It doesn't really matter what your religious beliefs are, meditation and prayer produce the same result: Inner focus. Meditation and Prayer are enhanced by using deep breathing techniques and quieting the mind to focus on what is truly important to you. Find a quiet spot, close your eyes and focus on your Higher Being, being grateful for what you have, the people whom you love and who love you-whomever or whatever you feel is worth your precious time to focus on. MAKE this time for you-your mental health will thank you later for it.
*Positive Talk and An Optimistic Attitude Take all the negatives out of your thinking. Positive thinking is the real deal and it DOES work. When you tell yourself what you want/need either in your head or out loud (Caution! Speaking your thoughts out loud might cause strange looks in your direction!), keep it in present tense and it will change the way you think. An example would be "I am making loads of money today", instead of "I will be making loads of money today" (future tense) or "I'm not making any money!" (negative tense! No more thinking like this!)
*ExerciseSaved my favorite for last. Exercise can clear your head and increase your endorphin levels (brain and nerve transmitters that help prevent pain, increases your sense of power, lets you extend your activity level and can increase your feelings of well-being). Exercise just makes you feel good, helps in weight loss, and just leaves you feeling empowered, where you feel like you are in a good space to make good decisions-especially financial ones.
These are a few of my tools. I would love to hear from all of you out there. And, if there are any health or wellness topics you would like me to blog on, I would be more that happy to.
Happy Friday!
Yours In Health,
~Merri Lou
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